Recently I had a brief bout of strep throat which caused an interesting conversation with a friend of mine. I'm uninsured, so it was a roundabout process to get antibiotics and I was complaining about the poor state of health coverage in this country. At this point, it was still unclear exactly what was causing my sore throat and my friend brought up the possibility of STDs. Now that was an alarming thought all by itself, though thankfully not the case. But what really caught my attention was the context in which the possibility was raised. He mentioned it when I brought up national health care. The implication was clear: taxpayers shouldn't have to foot the bill to treat STDs because they're your own fault.
This gave me pause. Why are sexually-transmitted diseases put in a separate category and loaded with moralistic judgement? Really, how is catching strep throat from a friend any different from catching something else from a sexual encounter? Nobody wants to catch either, that's for sure.
Gay men in the United States have a reputation for being promiscuous. It's perhaps for that reason that public adherence to a retrograde, prudish sexual morality has become nearly universal among gay males in my generation. It's truly astonishing to realize that the sexual revolution has become so hamstrung in a group that used to be on the very edge of society. It's tempting to assume that the shadow of AIDS still hangs over us but that's belied by the fact that gay men aged 18-30 are engaging in more risky behavior, not less. While the public facade resembles the Fussy Fifties, the behind-the-scenes activity is more like the Swinging Seventies.
I suspect the adoption of a more prudish face by the gay community has more to do with earning acceptance in the larger society. Our attempt to show America an alternative to all those prime-time shots of half-naked leather boys in the parades has become internalized and presents itself as a prim denial of what goes on behind closed doors.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
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Gay men have such a messed up relationship with their own sexuality. I've seen my ex (still a close friend) become more and more comfortable embracing his own, which has been great to see because until recently he seemed to think it was somehow shameful and dirty. Luckily he's also safe, whereas so many guys aren't; they seem almost willfully naive and more interested in the passing thrill of "barebacking" (which seems to have become its own "fetish") than the potential long term effects of having HIV/AIDS. I really hope that the gay community-- whatever the hell that means-- begins to develop a healthier relationship to its own sexual behavior, one free of both judgement and high-risk behavior.
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